#Repost

I WILL KILL MYSELF AT DAWN
Hey you,I am going to die tomorrow.
Don’t ask me why
So this evening I am going to tie loose ends
First I will go to Onyango, he owes me a hundred bob
See, I bought him waragi last month and he hasn’t paid me back
I know i’ll find him seated outside smoking a cheap cigarette
I’ll beat him till he pays
Then I’ll head straight to Min Achupa, the best brewer in the village
Her daughter Achupa promised me something
I must eat her properly before I die
We’ll drink together for the last time
Before the evening ends I’ll visit the MCA
He promised me a job after school
I am yet to get that job
I had so much hope in him
So he must die tonight
Maybe he’ll give me a job when we meet in heaven
Of course I must go to heaven
I didn’t do anything bad except disappoint my old parents
I’d say the governmemt failed me
But then it is not responsible for the failure of my marriage

I will die at dawn tomorrow
I will take Tinga’s rope from the cowshed
Tie it well on the tree behind my ‘simba’
I want to feel the rope choke life out of me
I want to feel desperation, struggles leave me
Feel my eyes bulge out with the promise of a better future
I think I’ll enjoy the feel of my tongue out of its hiding
At least I won’t be hurling abuses at my parents again
I want to feel my fingers go lax
Then I’ll know that they won’t hold another satchet of waragi again
I want to feel my legs go numb
Only then will I know that they won’t kick another innocent woman
I know I’ll be free
Free from expectations

Mama will find me hanging there in the morning
She’ll scream her lungs out
She’ll ask people to untie me, help me
But I’ll be dead already
People will cry
Some fake, a few real
Asking themselves why such a young man has wasted his life
I know my enstranged wife will be there
She’ll stare at my grave as if begging me to come back
She’ll look at our youngest son and remember our last time together
But then I’ll be gone
I will hang myself at dawn

#AokoJuma